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About seven years ago the fella and I were in the market for a new car. We checked Consumer Reports to see which models got the best reviews, and decided on two manufacturers. Here’s my best recollection of that little adventure.

We visit the first dealer. This is our second choice in terms of resale value and reliability, but best in price.

I’m annoyed in two minutes flat.

Stereotypes and scripts can backfire
Statistics show women make the majority of buying decisions, so our salesguy – let’s call him John – looks pointedly at me as he makes his pitch. He keeps using my name. Great. He’s working with a script. I feel my eyes start to roll of their own accord, so I occupy myself by carefully keeping them in place. Then he makes what he figures is a really good point.

“And Stacey, you know these vehicles are equipped with air bags.”

Now, I have to give John a break. He doesn’t know I have no qualms about being a story and a half high on an extension ladder in a stiff breeze, painting the trim on our house. I’m not exactly a quivering little girl. But this is what he should know, since we’re face to face: I’m not very tall, which means I have to sit close to the steering wheel for my feet to reach the pedals. John’s thinking I’ll feel all safe and secure, knowing there are nice, fluffy air bags in my shiny new car. Me, I suddenly envision the possibility of a high velocity explosion mere inches from my head, which is something I’d rather not think about.

This is an example of getting your features and benefits way wrong. It’s an example of relying too heavily on a canned sales pitch. Most of all, it’s an example of what happens when you’re not engaged.

Know your customer—ask questions
John could have started by asking what brought us in. Since we’d read Consumer Reports, we were already 90% sold—all John had to do was close the sale. He could have ditched the script and spent a few minutes asking us about what we were looking for in a vehicle. Airbags are standard equipment, so not high on my list of priorities. That simple inquiry could have also spared me the insult of being treated like the “little woman” (what is this, 1950?).

We tell John we’ll think about it.

Proceed to the second dealer. This is the best vehicle in its category. The price is a little high, but I’m annoyed by the sales pitch I just heard, so I want to check out a second option.

This is a very short story.

We barely begin talking to the salesguy when he stops mid-sentence to stare at a female colleague crossing the showroom. Five solid seconds of silence.

Lesson 1: If your prospective customer finds herself wondering if you’re a stalker, you’re pretty much done (don’t poison your brand).

Lesson 2: It’s way easier to buy from someone who’s paying attention and treats you with respect.

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