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Stacey Cornelius
I'm a writer, jargon translator, idea junkie & creative entrepreneur with a Fine Art degree. I have years of professional experience in retail, theatre, fine craft and information technology.  Read More

The wisdom of failure

December 17, 2009

What happens when you fail?

If you do it right, you learn, sometimes a lot. You learn to suck it up and move on. You learn to trust your gut. You learn what everybody else is doing might not be right for you.

Mostly you learn your roof won’t cave in, the wheels won’t fall off your car, and embarrassment is not a fatal condition.

I’m talking about marketing a microbusiness here, not brain surgery or building bridges, and I’m not talking about putting your entire life savings into a single venture. The former has lives at stake and the latter is nuts.

When I’m about to do something stupid (read: against my nature), I start to panic just a little. I rush. I make a lame comment on a popular blog without reading it carefully because I think it might get me traffic. I lower a price out of fear. There is a physical sensation associated with the choice—something faint, easy to ignore. But when the deed is done, it multiplies by tens and I feel it—stomach around my knees, and an urge to run. I affectionately call this condition Consummate Idiot.

Except nobody really cares but me. Most people won’t even notice, unless I’ve made a colossal blunder. Mostly I’ve been either too smart or too cautious to do something that extreme.

I’m embarrassed, and I do not expire.

When you fail, there are signs in the settling dust, if you pay attention. Drag your eyes away from your navel and consider: what informed the choice? Did you do your homework first? Did you act out of fear? What did you tell yourself before, during and after? How did you feel physically?

How do you feel when you try something that goes well, when you’re acting according to what you believe in?

The cues are consistent. Commit them to memory.

Failure gives you the chance to have your very own time out to think about what you’ve done. Take your box of crayons if you like, and scribble some notes so you can avoid those mistakes in the future. Consider what worked. It’s worth noting things that mostly worked, too. Or even kind of worked. Examine it all. Consult  your gut.

This might come as a surprise, but things are supposed to go wrong. You can’t get it right every time. No one can. Do everything possible to succeed, but with the realization that there will be setbacks. Do your research, trust your instincts, then get on with it.  If you’re not afraid to stumble, you won’t be afraid to try.

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[...] or negative, into a neutral learning experience? (As in, think carefully about what went right, what didn’t, and whether or not you need to refine anything, as opposed to rolling your eyes as you tell [...]

[...] improve. Techniques evolve. We mature as artists and as people. We all make mistakes. That doesn’t mean you’re no good—it means you have more to learn. We all have more [...]

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