There are times when you find yourself reflecting on the choices you make. Like when you’re laying in the middle of your driveway, reflecting on the laws of physics and the frailty of the human body.

Allow me to elaborate.

A lesson in physics
I walk my dogs on long leads. Several days ago, as we set out on our usual morning walk, something flashed across the end of the driveway. It was either one of the neighbourhood cats or a hare. I can’t say which because it was moving too fast to identify. The dogs took off, I started running behind them, then one of them suddenly changed direction, and I went down like a gazelle on the savannah. The lions (or in this case, the wolves) abandoned me, apparently far more interested in pursuing smaller prey.

I remember the instant of impact. I’m not even remotely prone to falling, so I vividly remember being shocked at the force when I hit the gravel. I rolled after I fell, but don’t recall how many times.

I figured I wasn’t in nearly enough pain to be seriously injured, but I wasn’t interested in getting up, either.

I considered gathering the dogs before they got into trouble, but I still wasn’t interested in getting up.

I pulled my right hand out from under me and discovered gouges on the heel of my hand. “Great,” I thought, “That’s going to leave some scars.” Didn’t look forward to cleaning the dirt out of the worst one. But that would have to wait a few minutes.

I finally got to my feet and retrieved the dogs, who were in the woods, still frantically sniffing for the mysterious beast that instigated the big adventure. I got them back into the house, cleaned and dressed my hand, inspected the road rash on my left knee (minor) and hip (impressive), and got on with my day, planning my next blog post. The worst of it seemed to be my hand. I couldn’t grasp anything without irritating it, or type very well.

But then there was a second crash. Two days later, my twitchy metabolism let me know I finally pushed it too far. I crawled into bed and stayed there for a day and a half.

Five days after the big fall, I sat across from my doctor and felt the extraordinary ambivalence that comes with the words, “Can you stop work for a while? Can you take the summer off?”

The prospect of having a summer off is like being a kid and finding out school is ending a month early. On the other hand, several weeks without your usual income is okay if you qualify for employment insurance or short term disability, but if you’re self-employed? Not so great. Not even if you have a backup income in the form of a significant other, because your business is still new, and you really don’t want to find it in a shambles when the respite is over.

Like I said, ambivalence.

The hazards of self-employment
My health is a delicate balance at the best of times. I don’t much like discussing it, because I don’t define who I am by my current circumstances. Mostly I’m able to keep myself in running order, but the rigors of a new startup and occasional forays to the land of Forbidden Food left me a little too close to the edge.

The whole “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” thing pretty much did it. To make a long, complicated story short: I’m in the middle of a massive energy crisis.

A tough choice and clear lesson
So there’s a choice to be made: try to keep going with a partially charged battery and scale back as much as humanly possible, or hit the Pause button for a couple of months and let the battery charge fully.

Neither choice feels exactly right for various reasons. But there is one smart choice.

And the only guarantee is there will be lessons learned along the way.

The big lesson so far is simple: I shouldn’t have tried to ramp up a new business while winding down another one. An overlap seems logical, but things haven’t gone as planned. Since I haven’t had enough energy or clarity of thought, I’m not doing anything particularly well.

When you think you’re done, but you’re not
I didn’t expect the sense of loss that came with the decision to wrap up my bricks and mortar artisan venture. I couldn’t grow it the way I wanted to, so instead of driving myself (and everyone around me) crazy bemoaning the fact, I decided to move on to something else. It sounded good, but when I started telling people, I realized I wasn’t entirely relieved. I also had to keep things running until the announced end date. It’s been surprisingly difficult to keep my head in the right place with it.

The best laid plans get bigger than you expect
I was surprised by the amount of work that came with building and marketing an online business. I’d also conveniently forgotten about the standard package of freakouts that come with any new startup. Add to that the demands of running a second business, even though it’s winding down, and the load gets heavier than you ever could have anticipated.

Business, like life, is funny that way.

Check the space between your ears
There’s a big pile of coping in my world. I require more sleep than most humans, which shortens my work day, and have a list of food sensitivities as long as my arm, which strains my sense of humour.

That’s my baseline.

There are also the above-mentioned businesses that need tending.

This may not seem logical, but I discovered it’s not the number of tasks that get you, it’s the consciousness required to keep everything sorted and moving in the right direction. There’s a point where you want to throw yourself down in the middle of the floor and wail like a two-year-old, or do something stupid like eat an entire carton of ice cream, or drink way too much. While that may be cathartic in the moment, there can be consequences (I don’t recommend having the tantrum in the middle of the frozen food section of the grocery store, for example, and no, I did not do that). It may be a pleasant break from your routine, but the work is still there when you’re done.

Taking theory into practice requires a master translator
Yes, I know. This all looks very good in writing, and it seems simple to avoid these painfully obvious problems. But we’re complex creatures—ingenious, creative, resourceful, but when you translate theory into practice, we often discover we’re really not that bright.

Or maybe that’s just me.

But what’s true for most of us is it’s hard to see the big picture when you’re in the middle of it. It often takes a good shakeup to get you to see what’s really going on, and sometimes the only way to deal with a difficult situation is to step out of it.

Ironically, the unexpected meeting with the driveway happened just as things were starting to settle with both businesses and I was getting ahead of the stress. I’m going to tell myself that, anyway. It sounds better to blame irony than to say “My dogs saw a bunny and I fell down.” I’ll save that little gem for when I’m sitting in my recliner in my fancy sweatsuit watching Wheel of Fortune.

What the future holds
I’ll heed my doctor’s advice and spend the summer in my garden, contemplating the mysteries of sorrel and hawkweed. I’ll do my damn stress prevention yoga routine, take my extra supplements, go to bed at 10pm as ordered, and we’ll see what transpires come September.

Over the next couple of weeks, I hope to introduce you to a couple of my friends and colleagues. They’re busy business owners too, so if they aren’t able to finish their guest posts before I officially hang up my Gone Fishin’ sign, we’ll just postpone the introductions.

The moral of the story
I’m writing this story instead of making a short announcement because someone might find some value in my experiences. Like, say, instead of following my stellar example, have a contingency plan in place in case your doctor “suggests” you take some time off work before you do yourself some serious damage.

I’m also writing this because a three week gap would be downright flaky. I believe in being consistent with your brand and your marketing presence, and while I don’t have the illusion that any of us are machines, I also realize that you, dear reader, have reasonable expectations, and continued silence is no way to treat people whose attention I value.

Have your say
Have you ever been faced with choices you’re just not happy with? Does your brain ever elbow your gut out of the way?  Do you have a contingency plan for your own business?