Three people I know have said nearly the same thing over the past few days—Why can’t I get this right?

One person was frustrated at not being able to master a new skill quickly. One was trying to wrestle designs into lower price points. One was overthinking her marketing message.

Their intentions were honourable, but they weren’t getting the results they wanted, and for good reason. Trying too hard interrupts your flow. It hangs up your thinking and twists you into a ball of anxiety.

Learning takes time
It’s beyond frustrating when you try to master something that looks like it should be easy. When your initial efforts are met with unabashed defiance, you wonder what could possibly be wrong with you, particularly when other people seem to be doing the very same thing with little or no effort.

But they had to learn it, too. If you want to get good at something, you have to work at it. You have to practice. And you are required to make mistakes.

(You could say mistakes are a natural part of the process, but if mistakes are a prerequisite, your pride will take less of a beating and you’ll be less likely to quit.)

Give quality work the respect it deserves
Trying to dumb down good design is as bad as trying to copy it. You end up with a pale imitation of the original. The balance is off, the shapes are wrong, and there’s an unmistakable sense that something’s missing. It’s like the cheap knock-off gowns that appear every year after the Academy Awards. Yes, you can have the fabulous dress that Penelope Cruz wore! Except the cheap version usually ends up looking like an okay-ish prom gown.

You’d be better off going to the local vintage clothing store. At least you get a dress that still has its original character.

You could drop the price on an original piece, but that sends its own unfortunate message. Quality buyers get suspicious when they see a price that’s too low. What’s wrong with it? Substandard materials? Poor production?

The price has to be in proper alignment with the quality of the piece and the person who makes it.

That advice is hard to take. You need to earn a living. But pricing creative work is like dating—the scent of desperation is only attractive to vampires.

Selling creative work is also like dating—if you don’t see good prospects, you’re in the wrong place. Move on.

Use your head, but trust your instincts
When you know who your ideal customer is, you have a strong sense of how they think—what delights them, what bugs them, and what they really, really want. All the marketing books in the world can’t replace that kind of understanding.

What they really, really want is a function of emotion. They feel good when they buy directly from you. It’s cool—you’re cool. Your work makes them feel sophisticated. It makes them feel special. There are theories to explain the emotion and techniques to help you enhance that feeling, but sometimes the complicated logistics get in the way. Sometimes it’s best to just be human—to exercise empathy and meet your customer where they are, instead of trying to pull them to you.

So let’s take those three experiences and combine them to craft a basic marketing plan.

Marketing 101 revisited—the creative version

• Make excellent work. (Practice. Learn new things. Practice some more.)
• Don’t sell yourself short—price your work properly.
• Sell in the right places.
• Sell to the right people.
• Don’t overthink it. People are emotional creatures. Let your creativity and empathy help guide you.

Wanting to get it right drives you to do better, but it doesn’t matter whether you’re trying to learn something or get your message out—pushing too hard drives you crazy.

You might think marketing is just another skill, like learning to roller skate, but that’s not true. Marketing is a multi-faceted activity. So much of you is wrapped up in your work, you can’t separate yourself from your marketing. And you shouldn’t, because you is what helps sell your work. Marketing isn’t just a matter of following a recipe. It’s an organic process. If you approach it that way, it feels more natural, and more like a part of your creative process.

Just remember: don’t try too hard.

Over to you: What happens when you try too hard? More importantly, what happens when you step back, relax, and let things unfold?