One simple and surprising way past mental roadblocks
April 15, 2010Do you ever feel a vague sense of discomfort when you’re about to start a project, write something important, or show new work?
Maybe that feeling of unease isn’t so vague. Maybe it’s very clear and very loud.
What do you do when that happens?
You could try to ignore it and push on.
You could talk to the fear, to figure out exactly where it comes from.
You could focus your attention on where you want to be and how it will feel when you get there.
You could pray, sing show tunes, or conjure up your inner motivator.
Any of those methods can be effective, on any given day.
Emotions—chosen, or running amok
You can choose to let go of the discomfort. Your emotions come from your perceptions of a situation, so technically you have the ability to choose how you respond. You can observe the negative feelings while continuing with your work, unaffected by them.
But sometimes you find yourself temporarily overwhelmed. You become unreasonable, obstinate, or downright paralyzed.
It’s entirely possible you will experience all of these states, from neutrality to near panic, in rapid succession. Sometimes none of your usual coping strategies will work.
Try something completely different
What about curiosity?
You know that irresistible sensation. You’re immersed in a thrilling book. You race through to see how it ends (or your feet turn to clay and you sneak a peek at the last page). You’re on the edge of your seat at the movie theatre, trying to guess what’s about to happen.
When fear comes calling, when you find yourself buried under the what ifs of dread and nothing else works, let your natural sense of wonder pull you forward. That unquenchable human quality—curiosity—can drown out the noise in your head and shove fear to the sidelines. You move forward because you have to know what happens next.
If you want to make discoveries, venture out of your hiding place and look under the stones. If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, all you need to do is take the walk.
Feelings of unease about a project? I talk to friends about it. Someone always comes up with something I hadn’t thought of. Some make comments that show they don’t have the slightest idea what I’m talking about. But they’re personally supportive and if they have insights I lack, all the better!
Putting it into words helps me decide how I feel about it and makes it less vague. Less vague = less scary.
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Stacey Cornelius Reply:
April 16th, 2010 at 6:20 pm
In my experience, it usually comes down to fear of the unknown. If we always knew exactly what’s about to happen, we’d bore ourselves half to death.
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Facing the unknown will always carry with it fear and anxiety. The bad thing about these feelings is that they automatically dominate us and we are oftentimes helpless in their grasp. I do believe however that if we learn to be aware of them and understand their true nature, we are able to release ourselves from their shackles. It will take time to change the habit of our minds, but it is worth the effort.
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Stacey Cornelius Reply:
April 18th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Ah, but Walter, that’s my point–the unknown doesn’t have to generate fear. You don’t know what’s around the bend on a beautiful hiking path, but most of us are more inclined to be curious about what awaits us than fearful.
The fearful people probably won’t want to come along in the first place. They’ll stay home and watch TV.
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